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29 Sept 2006

The Peak District




The Peak District is the oldest national park in the UK, and was named after the tribe who inhabited the area hundreds of years ago, not because of the landscape. It does however have the occasional peak, and is great place if you feel like getting away from it all.

Get away from what you may ask. Well, in short, Jacks and I left London at about 15:45 on friday afternoon. We finally got out of London at around 19:15, after spending a couple of hours on the longest parking lot in the world (the M25). Our goal for the weekend was to go somewhere we couldn't see or hear another person, train, plane or car, and the start of our journey cemented those feelings.

We arrived at Longnor at around 22:15, and parked outside our B&B, Spring Cottage. I knocked on the door, and after about 5 minutes an elderly gentleman answered. I told him that I was Brad Schouten, and his reply was 'so'. Thankfully, the owners of the establishment arrived on the scene, and the confused guest returned to his room.

Longnor is a village in the southern part of the Peak District, also known as the white peak. It has 400 residents, a fish and chip shop, and 4 pubs. I chose it because it has a great rural setting, and is a good base for many walks in the vicinity. On saturday morning, after a great breakfast with our confused friend from the night before, we ventured off into the countryside. Our 4 hour hike took us through some fantastic scenery, and seemed to be a bit tougher than we expected. Part of the walk took us up a sharp ridge to the summit of Chrome Hill, with great views of the valley below. The peak district was a massive coral reef a few hundred million years ago, and the next part of our route took us through a valley that was once a long channel through this reef. After arriving back into Longnor, slightly tired and fairly peckish, we made our way straight to the fish-n-chip shop.

On saturday afternoon we drove towards Castleton, a famous, and very touristy village in the heart of the national park. We came across Blue John Cave, and decided to explore. Blue John is a semi-precious stone only found in the peak district (named Blue John because of it's colours - blue/yellow). We took a half hour tour through the cave, and were amazed to find fossils and evidence of what was once the sea bed (now 900ft above sea level).

On sunday morning we ventured forth on another walk, this time from the town of Castleton. Beautifully rugged scenery, and weather to match, we made our way up onto a ridge surrounding the town, and then back through a valley. Another great walk, and mission accomplished - we succeeded in getting away from it all.

Think about the following

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where
all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with
soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself,
is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal
eating an endangered plant?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid
someone will clean them?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right
to start speaking?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does
he become disoriented?

19 Sept 2006

Dalmatian Coast - September 2006










When we arrived in London at the beginning of last year, one of the destinations on our 'to do' list was Croatia. On the piece of paper, which is now posted in our kitchen, I wrote 'See Croatia from the sea'. Thanks to an invitation from friends (Ben and Michelle), that's just what we did. Shockingly early on saturday morning we flew into Split, and made our way to the harbour on one of the most popular buses I have ever had to catch. Here we found our boat, PRINCESS TUNA, and jumped on board. I must admit that I originally thought that it was a bit of a naff name, but it proved to be a worthy vessel. On board where 35 like minded travellers (85% Aussie) and 5 crew (1 captain, 1 chef, 1 waiter, and 2 deckhands - all Croatian). All the rooms where ensuite, and there was a dining area with bar, and plenty of other spots up on deck for parking out and relaxing.

While tucking into a wholesome lunch, we left Split, and travelled south to an island called Hvar. The seas were calm and the sky blue, and after a few golden refreshments up on deck, we found ourselves in Hvar Town. We jumped ship, strolled around, and found ourselves at a castle up on a hill overlooking the town. Here, to our surprise, we found a bar, and we couldn't turn down the opportunity of having another cold one. Our first dinner was in a well hidden restaurant called Luna. With probably the friendliest Croatian waiter around, and a superb choice of local dishes, 8 of us (Ben, Michelle, John, Kirsten, Claire, Andrew, J&B) enjoyed a great meal. I tried the Pescafonde, which is grilled, fresh, uncleaned squid. Basically you are served a whole squid, which you clean on your plate (by removing the backbone and GI tract), and chow the rest. The squid is full of black ink, so all in all it was a pretty interesting, but fantastic meal. Our waiter had told us of the best place in town for a quiet drink, and in no time at all we were sitting at the place, overlooking the town square. After relaxing for a while, a few of us had gathered momentum, and we were drawn to Carpe Diem, the place to see and be seen in Hvar. The trip could not have started better, and for me, the first day was one of the best of the whole week.

Every morning we were woken by the ringing of the breakfast bell, at around 8am. The response time to this bell seemed to dwindle as the week passed by, but I can proudly say that Jacks never missed a single breakfast. The routine for every day was fairly similar, during breakfast we would depart, and make way to a secluded swimming spot. Here, we would swim, snorkel, and generally park out until about lunch, when we would once again haul anchor, and make our way to our overnight destination.

For any of you who are interested, our overnight stops were the following:

Hvar - Korcula - Sipan - Dubrovnik - Loviste - Makarska - Split.

On one of the mornings we arrived bright and early at the island of Mljet. Here we hired bikes, and cycled across the island to the famous salt lakes, where we caught a boat to a small monestary, on a small island on the larger of the 2 lakes.

After a few days of relative quiet we were thrown into the madness that is Dubrovnik. We parked on the busiest street on the outskirts of town, with the old town just a short bus ride away. The old town is completely surrounded by huge walls, and after a quick walk around, we made our way up a steep flight of stairs onto the wall, and completed the full circle. Fantastic to be able to see the town from above, and also to appreciate Dubrovnik's vulnerability to attack from both sea and land. Besides the walls, red tiles, and architecture of the city, Dubrovnik has 2 other highlights. They are Buza1 and Buza2, and are both bars. Not just any bar's though, they have the most fantastic settings, perched up against the base of the wall, and on the edge of the rocky coastline, only a hop, skip and a jump from the ocean.

The following morning Jacks and I joined a guided walk through town, learning about it's past and a people that has done well to endure. At one stage during the horrific war (sometime between 1991-1996), the old town was seiged, and the residents (some 10,000 people), were without food and water for 6 months. One can get some sort of an idea of the extent of the attack on the city by looking at the tiled roofs (or rooves if it sounds better in your head), with only a few buildings having their original tiles. Our tour guide, who was a 50 year old woman, became fairly emotional on parts of the walk, and if you think that peace returned only 10 years ago, its easy to understand why.

The best night of the trip for me, was on the Makarska Riviera. We arrived early afternoon, and followed the crowd down to beach, where we played hand and ball (a local game similar to bat and ball, but with obvious differences). For anyone looking to open a bat shop in Croatia, there is most certainly a buck to be made. We were told of a nudist beach, not far from the 1 that we were on, so Jacks and I made our way around the corner, just to have a look. Here we were met by the Yeti's slightly balder cousin, and a few other naturists (like Beau Brummel). After a pizza dinner we met up with most of the group at a little bar near the beach. After a few drinks everyone was looking for a party, and that's just what we found. On a secluded rocky outcrop there is a bar and nightclub called 'la grotta'. A few of our group arrived and were told that it was closing, but after a bit of convincing, the owner decided to keep it open just for us. Here the party continued until the very early hours of the morning, and was really something that had to be seen to be believed. On the way back from the bar, I had a brief run as a professional wrestler, but my carreer (and myself) were hastily squashed by our Croatian waiter Ivan.

A movie called 'Adrift' was recently released, and tells the story of a group of people on a boat, far out at sea, that decide to go for a swim, and forget to put the ladder down. None of them can get back on board, and they all drown. Not the most inspiring of plots, but also slightly un-believable. After a few drinks John and myself decided to disprove the story. Well, we originally were just jumping from the roof of the boat, and once in, we decided to climb back on board without the ladder (funnily enough we had very few other options). I clutched onto the portholes, and John climbed up my back, and onto the boat - mission accomplished.

After a fantastic week together, 6 of us decided to enjoy our last meal at a local spot, away from the tourist trail. The food was top-notch, and it was the perfect end to a great week away. A fantastic group of people on the boat, and even though we don't speak Australian, we managed to fit in really well.

7 Sept 2006

The Breakfast



The 3:45 wake up call was well worth it. We arrived at the hotel just as the Rude Awakening morning show started. Jeremy, Paul and Darren were on top form, and watching the behind the scenes stuff was great. Darren can't sit still for longer than 5 minutes, Jeremy is off to have a smoke every 10 minutes, and Paul holds down the fort. The funniest part of the show was Darren's prank call to Virgin Mobile, thanking them for the lovely letter they sent him, telling him that his bill was 'outstanding'. Richard Branson found himself stuck in traffic (not sure why he didn't use his helicopter), and never made the show. The hamper had all sorts of great goodies (the shirts say 'mind the crap'), including the 3 Homebru CD's. I got a quick word in at the end of the show after my folks e-mailed Jeremy. We never won the prize, but we had a great time anyway.

6 Sept 2006

The Moreton Show - 2nd September




A one day Agricultural and Horse Show, held in the Cotswold village of Moreton in Marsh, takes place each year, on the first saturday in September. With everything from strange sheep breeds to Titan the robot, it is both interesting and hilarious. The highlight of the day for us was the terrier racing. Imagine 4 little terriers placed into the starting box, 2 not sure why they are there, 1 terrified, and the other extremely keen. A chap 100m away, controlling a fluffy doll along a string. On your marks, get set, go, the box is opened, and they're off, 1 after the doll (and in the direction of the finish line), 2 over the fence, and out of the arena, and the other searching desperately for its owner. What a laugh! Each race brought something new into the mix. A 5 year old girl entered her little puppy in one of the races, and as she walked past us to the start, she was telling her doggie that he must run welly welly fast.

Besides the cattle, horses and events, there was a fantastic food hall, with super-duper tasters. I started on the mustard and ended up at the liquers. We thoroughly enjoyed the show, especially because we got free tickets, thanks Jan and John (not only for the show, but also for having us over on friday night, and feeding us like kings).