The Olympic 'Bird's Nest' Stadium

Food again

We've done some experimenting in Beijing and although at times I haven't been 100% sure what I was eating, it's been good fun.

A Chinese chap we met in Borneo told us about a traditional restaurant that serves ancient royal recipes. He wrote the name and address of the restaurant in Chinese and the even though the people at our hostel had heard about it they weren't sure where it was. We showed a taxi driver and after a while searching she managed to get us there. I walked in and everyone looked at me as if I was the Health Inspector. They looked relieved when they realised we just wanted to eat and sat us at a table. The menu had some english translations but they really only were for entertainment value with names like Nestle duck most valuable. We started with Horseradish cooked in Soy and for my main I had the mutton speciality which was fantastic but I'm just not sure it was sheep.

I had to taste the famous 'Peking' duck that originated in Beijing and we chose a place called Quanjude Roast Duck Restaurant. It's one of the most famous places and I have to say it makes a mighty fine duck. Jacks wasn't too thrilled because even her prawn dumplings contained duck but we managed to get some veggies in the end. The restaurant makes 100 ducks a day, around 3000 a month and 36500 a year. Beijing has a lot of Roast Duck restaurants, I'll be conservative and say 100. So 100 X 36500 = 3,650,000. If our grandchildren never get the chance to see (or eat?) a duck we know who to blame.

Walking on the Great Wall

There are 3 main places around Beijing to visit the Great Wall. We chose the section around Jinshaling because from there you can walk 10km along the wall to Simatai. The added bonus is that because it takes longer to get there it sees far fewer tourists and has far less stupid attractions. There were probably 120 people or so with the same idea as us, but because the wall is so great we hardly saw any of them. I have to say that it's one of those places that will definitely exceed expectations, with the most amazing scenery everywhere you look. It's unbelievable how they managed to build it where they did. It literally travels the whole way along the highest range. I can just picture the project manager (about 2000 years ago) having a little chat with his supervisors. "Right men, you see those mountains over there. What I want is a wall that courses it's way along the highest of them. Don't stop until I tell you to and make it snappy!"

Tiananmen Square

The world's largest public square and a great place to fly a kite.

The Forbidden City

Home to 2 dynasties of emperors, the Forbidden City covers a huge area which is good because it has more visitors than anywhere we've ever been. It's full of halls, palaces and gardens and apparently even has a Starbucks (although we never came across it). We did stumble upon The Palace of Earthly Tranquility which was quite a laugh because currently it's the polar opposite of tranquil (see picture 4). There are massive pots throughout the city grounds and at some stage they were filled water to be used in the event of fire. The funny thing is that in cold weather (most of the time) the water freezes, so they had to light fires around the pots to prevent this.

China

Flying from Hong Kong to Beijing was fantastic. We hadn't seen the sky in a while but travelling up through China we had the most amazing blue sky with enormous cloud formations. Beijing is a monster, covering a huge area and housing around 17 million people, but somehow it manages to give off a peaceful air. It's nowhere near as polluted as we expected and most of the people keep to themselves and their spit.

What we are quite confused about is why in a supersized city our hostel gives us the world's smallest toilet paper rolls.

Sea Urchin Sushi!

Geni sushi has some fantastic stuff, like whelk, marinated octopus, eel, scallop but my favourite was the sea urchin. It has a really different flavour that hangs around in your mouth for ages.

Entertainment

Hong Kong is without a doubt 1 of the world's culinary capitals. We've noshed sushi, dumplings, seafood and a whole lot of other stuff. The sushi was so good that Jacks even had a nightmare about an octopus attacking her. I even was sternly reprimanded for not assisting in it's removal.

If you can tear yourself away from the restaurants you'll find that there is always something on. The world's biggest light show happens every night at 8pm and is when the whole of Hong Kong lights up to music and Cantonese commentary.

We were lucky enough to be in town on Wednesday and managed to get tickets to see Harry Connick Junior and his big brass band playing at the convention centre. He's famous because of a part he played in Will and Grace but his piano playing and jazz singing is top notch and he is a bit of a comedian too.

The fact that we're missing the Hong Kong Sevens by a week is unlucky I suppose but we wouldn't have been able to get tickets anyway. It's been sold out for months.

Hong Kong even has a Cultural Kaleidoscope Program with a variety of free classes/courses. We signed up for a Feng Shui lecture and are now officially Feng Shui masters.

Amusing signs

Hong Kong has some very interesting signs. The sign above was at one of Lamma Island's beaches. A shark attack may be slightly more than just inconvenient.

On the trams it states that it's recommended that passengers should wear face masks and that if you suspect that you've contracted influenza you should contact the driver immediately.

Lamma Island

To get out of the heavily populated city streets we caught a ferry to Lamma Island, about 40 minutes away. It has a great village feel and there is a track that takes you 6km to the other end of the island. To reward ourselves on a fantastic effort we tucked into a seafood set lunch at one of the Island's many seafood restaurants.

Like I mentioned earlier, it's amazing how remote you can feel considering how close you are to one of the busiest cities in the world.

Hong Kong

Hong Kong was such a breath of fresh air, so to speak. The air is thick with pollution but it was such a nice change after the chaos of Vietnam. Everyone is helpful, it has to be the most pedestrian friendly city in the world, it's highly efficient, the variety of food on offer is phenomenal and it has some amazing walking trails taking you into the peace and quiet of the mountains. Those are the pro's. The big negative is that it's very expensive.

We caught the famous tram up to the Peak and walked a track that takes you around the summit. The views are great but the combination of fog and pollution is disturbing. In Cape Town the Mountain is covered with a so called Table Cloth. In Hong Kong it's the city that's covered. The bus ride back down to the city is a must because it gives you a different view and is quite a thrill at the same time.

Bangkok again?

We flew back to Bangkok for 2 reasons. We had a flight booked from there to Hong Kong and more importantly we wanted to pay another visit to X (factor). She surprised us by travelling to the airport to fetch us, once again showing her amazing generosity. Problem was she never told us she was going to and we never saw her.

Only a bit later in the afternoon did we manage to get in touch and we spent the rest of the day and night with her. She took us off to a fantastic puppet show that would rank pretty high on our list of cultural experiences. The show started with a minutes silence to the recently deceased King's sister and then the national anthem which was combined with an in depth video of the King's life. The performance was amazing but the enthusiasm of the voice overs was occassionally bizarre. The show ended and the expected applause was replaced with a religious ceremony and then everyone left.

We finished the evening at a night bazaar and enjoyed our last taste of the food that is probably Thailand's greatest attraction.

Black River, Mai Chau Valley and Nin Binh

The problem with having superhuman guides (like Quay and Hun in the Central Highlands) is that they make all others look bad. Our guide and driver on our 4 day trip south of Hanoi not only looked bad but were complete pricks as well. If it wasn't for the wonderful scenery and remoteness of our location we would have ended it early.

The Black River is really a lake and our walk from high up in the mountains to it's shores was breathtaking. Our first home stay overlooked the lake and was with a traditional Muong family. Mr Guong, the father, welcomed us as if we were his long lost children. We shared beer, rice wine and a great meal and after a really entertaining evening we set up mattresses and mosquito nets and went to sleep. The next day saw us trekking up and away from the lake and then through jungle and down to a village of White Thai people. Nothing could come close to Mr Guong's hospitality but we had a pleasant evening that included some traditional dancing and music which brought most of the village into the house.

Our third morning was spent walking through the villages and rice fields of the beautiful Mai Chau valley and after lunch we were taken off to Nin Binh, which is nicknamed Halong Bay of the Rice Paddies and is where we spent the last day of our trip. We walked, cycled and were shunted down a narrow canal on a little boat. The scenery was amazing but the unexpected and bizarre highlight of the day was witnessing a father and son's karaoke competition while sipping on a cup of green tea in their lounge.

We were joined on the trip by a Canadian couple who work as cops in Montreal and the 4 of us got on really well. We'd had a great trip but by lunch on day 4 Jacks was furious and I was ready to kick our guide in the balls.

Halong Bay

Halong Bay is a nominee for the 7 natural wonders of the world but I just wonder how something of such pure and immense natural beauty can be turned into a rubbish dump. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful place and our 2 day tour was worth every cent but I just find the pollution terribly sad. Why can't people show their environment the respect it deserves?


The main problem with Halong is that there are too many boats. Trying to choose 1 was an absolute mission, especially because I wanted something good. We'd be celebrating both Jacks' birthday and our anniversary so an ordinary trip was out of the question. After much deliberation I picked a boat called the Lagoon Explorer, mainly because it only has only 4 cabins. It ended up being only 6 of us and we had a great time. The food was super and the chef even presented Jackie with a few sculptural masterpieces (one of which was a carrot Ho Chi Minh fishing in a little pond).


The limestone karsts of the bay are truly special and cruising between them on an overnight trip is really the only way to see them.

Hanoi - a great place for Inspector Gadget

The capital city has some great food, a million tour offices and a population that is in fast forward. It's impossible to walk anywhere because the pavements are full of people, bikes, chairs and people sitting on bikes and chairs. I know that a lot of my city highlights are food related but on this occassion I feel that I have to confess to eating something that made me feel really naughty. Jackie and myself shared a Seafood Hotpot, in a cheap local restaurant, that must have been cooked by an angel. My word was it good.

Hue

We arrived in Hue after a 4 hour bus ride and were carted off to our hotel in the rain, with all of our luggage, on the back of 2 bikes. We only had the afternoon to look around so even though it was raining we walked off to the citadel and around it's walls and moat. We'd been enjoying the local food but were desperate for something different. Italian for lunch and Indian for dinner did the trick and both were surprisingly tasty.

Hoi An

I could very easily use the fact that it rained nonstop for 4 days as an excuse but it just wouldn't be true. We were both in the mood for retail therapy and relaxation so that's just what we did. Quay's (our Central Highland guide) brother is a tailor and him and his wife sorted us out with some clothes. There was some awesome art, the food was spectacular and the narrow cobbled streets made for some great walking if you can ignore the incessant 'hey you come buy my clothes'.

Central Highlands

Travelling up through the Central highlands on the back of a motorbike sounded like a great idea but after a day negotiating the unpredictable roads around Dalat we decided against it. We'd even gone as far as arranging a meeting with 2 Easyriders who had 'befriended' us on the street. These chaps have been taking people through the mountains for more than 20 years and are hugely proud of their client-comment books. We almost took the bait but decided that 5 days would be too much, especially when you consider that you're sandwiched between your driver and your luggage. We heard about a freelance guide and after chatting with him for a couple of minutes we signed up for a 4 day tour that would take us from Dalat to Hoi An, the back way.


There were 4 of us in the hugely spacious minivan, Jacks, myself, Hun (the driver) and Quay (our guide) and we began our trip with a few quick stops in Dalat. The only 1 worth commenting on is the Crazy House, a hotel currently being built by an ex-presidents daughter. She did her PHD in Architecture in Russia and seems to have picked up a style that resembles Gaudi on heroine. I'd love to show you pictures but unfortunately our hard drive now has bird flu and all of our pictures are in some parallel universe!


Next stop was Lak Lake where we wandered through a traditional Ede minority village and were convinced by the locals to ride an elephant across the lake. We'd already had many elephant riding opportunities but the tacky tourism and the way that the elephants were treated had always put us off. That along with the fact that as Africans we don't really feel comfortable seeing such beautiful creatures being tamed and bullied by people wearing funny clothes. There were almost no tourists in Lak Lake and from what we could see the elephants were treated like royalty. I wouldn't recommend any long term elephant travel but both of us really enjoyed our ride. The elephant had a whale of a time and at one point had only the end of its trunk out of the water.


Along the way we learnt about the local silk, rubber, coffee, pepper and MSG industries, all very interesting and 1 highly amusing. After stopping at a family home, we walked up to the house to have a look at their pepper trees. Two kids inside burst into tears and the parents and our guide found it very funny. The mom had told them that we had come to adopt them. Our second night was in Buon Me Thuot which is the coffee capital of the country if not the world. In 2007 Vietnam made 1,5 Billion US Dollars from it's coffee which sounds great except for the fact that less than 8% of that figure goes to the growers who do all the work. I had mentioned to Quay that I enjoyed a good cuppa and he somehow managed to convince the people at the Trung Nguyen Headquarters that we were some coffee experts. We were invited into their main lounge and allowed to taste some of their different varieties. They really now what they're doing and their Legendee is truly a one of a kind. It is a coffee that has passed through a weasel and then roasted. Basically roasted weasel kak which sounds siff but I tell you right now it is superb.


We visited the Phoenix Airbase, a couple of war memorials and cemeteries and some old tanks but it was the huge expanses of barren land, where the Americans dropped Agent Orange, that made us sad. The chemical was used to destroy all vegetation and therefore expose the VC but 30 years later the soil is still useless and thousands of children have been born with defects as a result of it's presence. American War Veterans that were affected by the stuff have recently received payouts but a claim made by the Vietnamese was drop kicked over the fence.


The road took us through some wonderful scenery, past the Dray Sap Falls and the wonderful jungle and mountain landscape of the Ho Chi Minh Trail.


The best thing about the trip was Quay and Hun. As I'm writing this our time in Vietnam is almost up and if I am honest I'd have to say that we've both really struggled with the people. They're an incredibly aggressive bunch that occasionally loosen up after marinading themselves in rice wine. If you stay on the tourist conveyor belt like good little sausages you'll be exposed to forced smiles and rehearsed friendliness. Getting off the beaten track will show you the real people but will also expose a character that is fairly obviously entrenched with a hate for anybody different. This is certainly a generalisation and with our guide and driver it was not the case. Hun treated Jackie as if she was his granddaughter and Quay was like a long lost mate. We shared every meal together and there was never a dull moment. Saying goodbye was quite tough especially for Quay who with tears in his eyes told us that he was really going to miss us.

Dalat

High up in the Central Highlands of Vietnam, sitting pretty like a town somewhere in the Alps, is the popular Vietnamese holiday and honeymoon destination of Dalat. We spent a bit of time in town but with such beautiful surroundings nearby we hired a bike and went exploring. After negotiating the chaotic and absurdly hazardous roads around town we made our way out to the Lang Bien Mountains. We parked near a zebra painted horse and walked 3km up a tarred road to a sign pointing to a narrow track that angled up towards the highest peak. The path continued through some jungle, up a muddy slope and then out onto a summit that gave us a great view.

By now we had really started getting into the Vietnamese cuisine and a restaurant in Dalat confirmed our love for the stuff. One of the most popular dishes was a shrimp paste wrapped around a stick of sugarcane, grilled and served in rice paper with fresh herbs, cucumber and noodles, accompanied with chili and fish sauce. Dalat is definitely worth the detour, with a great setting and without doubt the friendliest people in the country (which is not saying much). If you ever find yourself there stay at Thien Anh Hotel and eat at Thuong Dong.

The Mekong Delta : Fresh fruit and a 30c haircut

There are only a few more motorbikes than travel agents in Saigon. All of them offer trips all over the country but their main focus is the Mekong Delta, which sees about 3 million tourists a year.

If you're doing a trip in Vietnam please do me a favour. NEVER do business with the monkeys at Sinh Cafe. Save a cow in Cambodia and make better use of your handgrenade. We chose a company called Innoviet because they were really friendly and because their slogan was 'we go where the Lonely Planet doesn't' which we thought was interesting. The trip was 3 days long and we were joined by our guide, a Russian and a German. The scenery was vastly different to what we had expected with us travelling through flatlands that are home to 18 million people whose lives revolve around the water.

The tour took us to floating markets, through narrow canals on a canoe, to candy and brick factories and an island home stay that made our flat in Putney look decidedly poor. The highlights were not on the itinerary and had nothing to do with the tour. After lunch the 1st day we walked off into town to get some coffee. They had none but we came across a barber shop which was convenient as I was in desperate need of a do. The cut and shave, that cost 30 cents (US), was highly entertaining for the local kids, who crammed in to watch the strange foreigner have his head shaved. A little later, when the kids realised I could reach the higher branches to pick fruit for them, I gained some respect and we had a wonderful afternoon.

SAIGON

The bumpy dirt roads, women selling deep fried spiders and street side locals not doing too much all vanished as we crossed the border into Vietnam. All of a sudden the roads were good, everybody was busy and there were more motorbikes than people. In my opinion there's no real point in learning the rules of the road in Vietnam. Driving on the right is optional, if you're bigger you have right of way and traffic lights exist purely for decorative purposes. Local mechanics must spend most of their time working on hooters because they are constantly going off. I can't remember ever hearing their national anthem but I reckon it must have a hooting solo in there somewhere. There is always a lot of talk about crossing streets in Saigon. I am going to be controversial and say that any plonker can do it. All you need to do is walk towards the other side of the road and the liquid mass of bikes will flow around you.

It is very hot and sticky, especially if you're exploring on foot, but if happy to sweat it's a great way to look around. We passed the Re-unification Palace, a Vietnamese wedding, but the highlight was a cafe selling the strong but sweet Thung Nguyen coffee. If I was asked to market the stuff I'd sell it with pictures of pink candy-floss Tyrannosaurus' on the box. I had a few cups and spent the rest of the afternoon bouncing between buildings, coming to a peaceful stop outside a 5 star riverside hotel. Purely to see if we'd be able to get a good aerial view of the city, we ventured in and up to the rooftop bar and pool. We ignored the $6 beers and roasting guests and looked out over the mayhem below.

We pulled our usual stunt and left the city as quickly as possible, heading south on a 3 day tour of the Mekong Delta.

Phnom Penh

Visiting Phnom Penh is like being a goldfish in a bowl of barracuda. Even the little green man at the traffic lights is running. The people make you mad, happy, depressed and excited all at the same time.

After arriving in the city we were bombarded by tuk-tuk drivers and they did well to sustain their mosquito-like presence throughout our stay. Whenever you pass 1 on the street you are greeted with 'hello tuk-tuk' and it got to the stage were I advised them that in the interest of their well being they should rather call me Brad.

It has a tremendous energy and I'll have to admit that I loved the buzz of the Russian Market. We bargained for a couple of things and watched our french friends send an antique salesman into early retirement. A visit to the disturbing Tuol Sleng Museum brought us quickly back down to earth with a shocking history that is brought across at a very personal level with photo's of all the prisoners and many of their own words and stories. To summarise, the Khmer Rouge and the vicious dog named Pol Pot set about exterminating intellectuals, monks and whoever they wanted to and the result was the deaths of between 2 and 3 million people. Twelve thousand spent time at the Tuol Sleng Prison but only 12 survived. They were tortured in the most terrible ways and generally treated like animals but what makes the tale even worse is that most of those responsible have never been charged or prosecuted for any wrong doing. The Cambodian people are not interested in revenge or finding justice, all they want is to live in peace and to have a meal at the end of the day.

As a country, Cambodia has been bullied by it's powerful neighbours for an eternity and it seems like the international community has no interest in assisting but rather in taking. Money talks in Cambodia and if you're lucky enough to have it you can literally shop for your preferred position of power. Most popular is the Police Chief portfolio because with the smallest amount of responsibility comes a license to kill. The same applies to tourists, if you have the cash you can purchase all forms of drugs, sex and weapons. There is even a company that will take you to a shooting range and let you blow up a cow with a handgrenade or rocket launcher.

Our final meal with Stephane and Faustine was at a riverside restaurant called Pon Lok, 'home' to an army of juvenile waiters and some wonderful food. Our waiter was just 16 and he wasn't working for pocket money. He spends his mornings at school and then rushes to the restaurant where he works every evening. He sleeps at the restaurant and only occasionally goes home on weekends. He sees none of the money he earns, with 100% of it being paid directly to his parents. The waiters all worked as a team, never complaining and always smiling. They were very interested in where we were from and spent the evening practising their English. The youngest waiter was just 10 and he worked as hard as anybody else. We enjoyed the meal but couldn't help feeling uncomfortable being served by kids. We'd much rather watch them play a game of football on a field.