SAIGON

The bumpy dirt roads, women selling deep fried spiders and street side locals not doing too much all vanished as we crossed the border into Vietnam. All of a sudden the roads were good, everybody was busy and there were more motorbikes than people. In my opinion there's no real point in learning the rules of the road in Vietnam. Driving on the right is optional, if you're bigger you have right of way and traffic lights exist purely for decorative purposes. Local mechanics must spend most of their time working on hooters because they are constantly going off. I can't remember ever hearing their national anthem but I reckon it must have a hooting solo in there somewhere. There is always a lot of talk about crossing streets in Saigon. I am going to be controversial and say that any plonker can do it. All you need to do is walk towards the other side of the road and the liquid mass of bikes will flow around you.

It is very hot and sticky, especially if you're exploring on foot, but if happy to sweat it's a great way to look around. We passed the Re-unification Palace, a Vietnamese wedding, but the highlight was a cafe selling the strong but sweet Thung Nguyen coffee. If I was asked to market the stuff I'd sell it with pictures of pink candy-floss Tyrannosaurus' on the box. I had a few cups and spent the rest of the afternoon bouncing between buildings, coming to a peaceful stop outside a 5 star riverside hotel. Purely to see if we'd be able to get a good aerial view of the city, we ventured in and up to the rooftop bar and pool. We ignored the $6 beers and roasting guests and looked out over the mayhem below.

We pulled our usual stunt and left the city as quickly as possible, heading south on a 3 day tour of the Mekong Delta.